Hi Ana,

I remembered the first time we met. I was eight.

You showed me the truth. You made me realize what I really looked like. You made me see the real me,

or so I thought.

I turned to food for emotional support whenever I felt down.

You told me to stop and do something about it, but I didn’t until I was eleven.

You told me to read tips on how to lose weight, and you encourage me to watch videos called; How to lose weight fast, Lose 10 kg in a week, How to be skinny… 

I ate better and exercised more. I was healthy, but I wasn’t satisfied with what I saw in the mirror.

When I was twelve you had a real talk with me. After listening to you I knew that I was the fat friend. 

You said to me; “No more candy on weekends!” “No afternoon snacks!”.

The numbers on the scale got lower and lower, but I didn’t see any change in my reflection when I looked in the mirror. After all the hard work.

I decided to let you go. To let you fly away with the wind. But now it seems like the wind has returned, and it’s more freezing then ever.

You’re back as an old friend. I don’t know if I should be happy or just…

I think I’m happy.

I was walking in quicksand then you came to save me.

I had control again. I could decide to walk around the quicksand and not in it.

I now work harder then ever. I have a goal! And you keep pushing me to get there.

“Go out and run instead of eating!”, you say to me. And I do as you demand, because after all, you saved me from the chaos that is my life.

And I thank you for that.

But know I’m on my way to the hospital and I think a better life is waiting for me.

I know you’re not going to leave right away, but I need to let go of you.